Quiescence

The sun was still shining, the air still hot, but it was quiet. Not the kind of quiet that indicates silence, but rather stillness. The rambunctiousness has gone, and this is what we are left with.

As we struggle to live out our last days of summer, we are constantly burdened by the feeling of impending struggle, of imminent entrapment, come to drag us back to that from which we came. Summer is winding down, and it's obvious.

It feels like the end. It feels like the time for new beginnings. The bastion of weeks has been reduced to a wall of days, and as always time will break through. The 42-week war will begin again, and it will be time to fight once more.

Right now, right now it's different. We sit, we play, we laugh. It's fun, but with every chuckle our hearts grow heavier, as the sun sinks faster and faster into the evening sky.

It's time to appreciate what the days have left behind.

No-Show

Okay, so today was probably one of the most difficult days I've had to get through, not because it was difficult in the slightest bit, but because I was about to die of sleep deprivation while sitting in my chair typing up reports (or not) at the lab.

For some reason, I feel like there's someone or something that is trying to make things extremely difficult for me. True, I did partially bring this upon myself by procrastinating to the point where I needed to stay up until 3:30 AM the past two nights to make up for it (and I still didn't finish everything). I also woke up at 6 this morning to see the lunar eclipse because my friend and I planned to wake each other up and watch it together. But anyway, is it really fair that I went through the additional trouble of leaving practice early today so I could get to Stony Brook, only to find that my grad student planned to not come in the first place?

In fact, I get to the lab and check my e-mail to see if she sent me anything. She did, and of course, when I check the time it was sent, it really was five minutes after I turned off my computer to leave. And to think, if I had only been slower by five minutes, I wouldn't have been stranded there for 6 hours and I could have been home sleeping.

Seriously though, what's up with all these no-shows? First I go to my workplace on Saturday, only to find it closed (when I'm going to pick up that application now is beyond me). Then today I go through so much trouble to get to the lab, and my grad student isn't even there. Dammit, I even woke up for nothing this morning, disrupting the measly 3 hours of sleep I would have had, because even the bloody eclipse decided not to show up!

Ugh... I can only hope that this will all be worth it in the end.

Rotten Apple

Well today was a rather irritable day. It wasn't that it was even a bad day; there were just people making things so... annoying.

First I had a doctor's appointment, which was probably the worst part of my day. My parents were naggy and pissy the entire morning due to various things, and I was getting quite pissed off myself because quite frankly, I can't tolerate loud noises, especially in the morning. Not to mention they were clearly blaming me for everything, even though I wasn't informed of anything in the first place. Oh, and as an added bonus, I was really, really, rather extremely hungry because my mother told me to fast the night before in case I had to have my blood taken (which didn't happen).

Also, while I was there, the nurse was pissing me off too because she was being really loud about my urine sample, and of course, my mother is laughing with her like an idiot because she lacks self-control and awareness in that regard. If the waiting area wasn't empty I think I would have killed someone, though there's always the possibility that the people in the other room could hear the nurse's flamboyant voice.

Then as we're leaving, my mother gets pissed because she planned (without my knowledge, of course) to go straight to Flushing without returning home, and I didn't bring the things I needed. She proceeds to scream at me, saying that she asked me this morning if I had everything I needed, to which I specifically replied, "Yes. For the doctor's appointment."

Next, when we were finally in Flushing, to my utter horror, I find my godforsaken uncle out of rehab and simply hanging about my mother's office. Why a bum with no life insists on showing up out of nowhere and interfering with business I haven't a clue. Plus, the moocher really thinks he can pretend nothing ever happened and be happy and carefree while his siblings have to take care of him. In fact, I bet he was all too happy to get a free lunch from us. I mean, it's a little different when you tell people you're going to show up so that they can prepare something for you, but just barging in without invitation is just plain rude. Ugh, it disgusts me.

Thank goodness my father was just as eager to leave as I was though so that I didn't even have to say more that five words to him. It was 1 PM, and my father decided to drive me to my workplace so I could pick up that job application I told you about in my previous post. Much to my dismay (or more appropriately, extreme outrage) though, I find the place closed, despite the fact that they specifically said that they would be open on Saturday, and that I could pick it up then. Why they were closed so early is beyond me, but this whole ordeal is really starting to seriously piss me off.

Sigh... but since I had the whole afternoon I decided to visit Columbia University on a whim, which actually cheered me up greatly. I was surprised to see how nice the campus was, and even though it's compact, I think I like it better that way.

In fact, I think there's something about NYC in general that's comforting. Somehow, the dirty streets, selfish attitudes, and the stiff cynicism in the air I feel are what makes this city truly urban. Indeed, if I'm lucky, I might just be able to call this place home.

Out of a Job

So after waking up in a rather jovial mood and quite pleased with myself (I slept in until 2), I called my employer today to let them know I was interested in working again in the fall, as I had taken the summer off in order to fulfill my research requirements at Stony Brook.

I was very relaxed. I even had a smile on when I called. See, I was under the impression since the day I left in June that many people would leave after the summer and that there would be plenty of openings in the fall, which was what happened last year.

Well, let's just say the call didn't go too well.

One of the ladies at the information desks picks up...

"Um... hi. I was wondering if [my boss] was there?"
"Oh! She hasn't been here all summer! She's had her second child. It's a boy."
"Oh, already? That's wonderful!"
[It continues.]
"Yes, yes... hold on, maybe S-- can talk to you!"

After being put on hold...

"Ah, yes. I was just calling to let you know that I was interested in coming back in the fall?"
"Oh. We actually have enough TAs already, but you can still apply."
"You mean I need to reapply?"

After being put on hold again, another voice picks up...

"Oh, yeah, sorry. A lot of people decided to stay for the fall and they've got priority. You can still pick up an application though."

---

So basically, I'm out of a job, and it might be permanent this time. While I'm still heartily welcomed at the lab...

Me: "Oh, I might come back during the school year..."
Intern Director: [Nodding rather desperately.] "Oh yes, please do."

... the earliest I'll be able to start is mid-October. Plus, I'm not sure how wonderful an idea it is to take an after school job with the level of courses I'm taking, not to mention I've got college applications to fill out and major science competitions to prepare for. I'd also like to learn how to drive sometime so that I don't have to wait until college to be able to do so legally.

Ugh, but I really want a job. Spending money is so much more difficult when you haven't got a steady flow of cash coming to balance it out (I once again felt the pinch in my pocket today at the Cheesecake Factory). I can't get a "normal" job though, as it's rather difficult and troublesome to rely on someone else for transportation (and I hate bothering people unnecessarily).

Ugh, what a terrible feeling. It's almost like coming back from a vacation and your boss telling you that he doesn't need you anymore. You know, I can't imagine getting fired from a real job in the future, even though that's almost basically what just happened.

Anyway, as I'm not quite ready to say goodbye to that prep school and everyone in it (plus I don't seem to have any other job options), I am picking up the application on Saturday. Sigh... wish me luck.

P.S. The Banana Cream Cheesecake is GOOD. (Perfectly light and perfectly sweet... I highly recommend it.)

Pasta With Shrimp Ragù

Screw you, Martha.

I don't usually brag, but I must say...

I am one hell of a cook.

Haha... Okay, I know I'm exaggerating, but I really did cook that delectable dish you see above. While I admit that it's not exactly what it's supposed to look like (I was improvising again for the usual reasons) and cooking it took me twice as long as it's supposed to (as always), it tasted pretty damn good if I do say so myself. It's not as colorful as it's supposed to be (I didn't have orange carrots or green oregano), but for something whose presentation I didn't care about at all, this came out pretty nice.

Recipe is here, and short article and how-to-do video here. The Minimalist (a.k.a. Mark Bittman) shows us how it's done, and everything he says is surprisingly correct. I even threw the pasta against my fridge to test it (haha), but unfortunately it did stick.

Good ol' NYTimes. Screw you, Martha. This is my kind of cooking.

Wealth and Water

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/16/garden/16pools.html?ref=garden

I do appreciate fine architecture, but...

Still, she’s confident it was a wise investment. “It was what put the house in the over-the-top-category,” she said, helping her to sell it in November for $7.5 million. She estimates the pool added $1 million to the price tag.

(You know, because $6.5 million, just isn't enough...)

Mr. Nagel [the pool designer] said that most of his clients are interested in being “the envy of all their friends.” He is currently working on an all-marble pool in the shape of a dolphin... for the home of Ken and Georgia Chamitoff... the idea came from their 8-year-old daughter, Sophia.

“We didn’t want the typical tropical lagoon that everyone else has in the backyard,” Mrs. Chamitoff explained. “I think it was important to Ken that Sophia could talk about having a dolphin pool with her friends at school.”

(Riiiiight. Because I feel so much better when I have little children groveling over my family's income too. Oh, and I wouldn't care if my daughter grows up to be a braggy little brat either...)

Please excuse me while I try to find a way to pay for college, thank you very much.

Season Finale

I savored the subtly sour sensation of the cold Key Lime cheesecake and cream before me. With another swift scoop, I spooned up another mouthful of the delicious dessert. Across from me however, sat a crumbling cookie dough slice, which was having its walnuts removed by its owner.

We ate. We talked. We laughed.

Then on the way home it was nearly silent, as if the darkness pressed the inevitableness even more so upon our hearts. The bright, white light of the high school billboard enticed my eyes for a moment, though I frowned when I saw that the message, "Have a Happy and Safe Summer," had been taken down.

The season of goodbyes is passing, and we are almost at the end.

Like the winds that bring the clouds and clouds that bring the rain, there is a time for it to come, and there is a time for it to go, and now that time has come.

My last goodbyes are being given and my final farewells are being said, for in a few weeks, they will be enjoying the beginning of a new chapter in their lives, and I will be embracing the welcome of yet another year, embarking on an old adventure, soaking in the crispness of the autumn wind.

"Never say goodbye." So I'll say thank you instead, again and again and again.

Like the winds that bring the clouds and the clouds that bring the rain...

But I suppose that even a rainbow is a transient thing.

Cooking: an Art or a Science?

So I realized I haven't blogged in a week, and thought I should think of something to write about. But I wonder if the fact that I haven't blogged is a good thing because it means that:

A) I have nothing to complain about.
B) There's nothing outrageous going on in my life right now.
C) I'm not reading the NYTimes as much because I actually have things to do at the lab.
D) I actually managed to get a life.

Well, while those are all perfectly plausible reasons, the reason why I've been MIA is that I've been terribly occupied with iTunes (which I grudgingly believe gave me a virus on my computer), organizing my music into it (which took three painstaking days, plus another to finally set the damn iPod up), and - can you believe it? I've actually been cooking.

I can't remember the last time I cooked a real meal, and by that I mean multiple servings of a an actual dish (not just a block of ramen). But luckily, cooking wasn't really a learned process for me so there wasn't really anything I had to remember that I could have forgotten in my year or so of dormancy.

Don't worry though. Everything turned out exceptionally well. In fact, I was considering actually organizing my recipes into a little box thing. I was considering it, but then again, I never really do the things I say I'm going to.

Here's what I cooked though, since I know you're just so interested:

Steak (Monday) - This is probably one of the most normal things I can cook.

Om-rice (A Unique, Original Blend of Omelettes and Fried Rice) (Monday) - Okay, I'm not going to lie. I just got really indecisive. I was going to make omelettes (and already started making them), but there was some leftover rice so I basically said "What the hell," and threw it in. Don't get me wrong though. It was thoroughly enjoyed by my patrons and was quite delicious if I do say so myself. In fact, I think I should market it. I'd make billions.

Mini Stuffed Peppers (Tuesday) - This was actually quite interesting since I managed to make them despite lacking nearly all the normal ingredients. Indeed, I ended up filling the mini peppers up with pork, rice, various spices not specified by the recipe, and hearty tomato pasta sauce, improvising as I usually do due to the lack of specific spices, sauces, beef, and large bell peppers. But it tasted great, so who cares?

In fact, when it comes to cooking, I think I'm a great improviser. Can't really say that applies to my baking skills though.

Apple Upside-Down Cake (Monday) - Haha... this reminded me of past situations where I tried to bake something of Martha Stewart's, and alas, the conclusion is always the same:

I DON'T HAVE EVERY APPLIANCE OR INGREDIENT ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH LIKE YOU DO, MARTHA.

So yeah, the whole cake ended up being improvised since the pan I used was too big for the batter (which then caused me to add more of certain ingredients with no regard towards maintaining the correct proportions, not that they were right to begin with), and I was missing a lot of things. In fact, the recipe was for a Pear Upside-Down Cake. I just had a lot of apples in my fridge.

Well, anyway, I guess I must have diluted the batter too much as the apples floated to the top (which really became the bottom), among other things. As you can probably guess by now, it didn't turn out too well, and let's just say I managed to make it edible, and end it there.

My mother can eat it though, despite being allergic to apples, so at least that's good... I guess.

Profound

Click, click, click. The constant clacking of keyboards was the only thing that broke the dreary silence.

"I wish he would come in here just to explain something to us."

Then, five minutes later, our professor (the sage-like old man) actually came.

We gave each other that look again, except where I only chuckled slightly in disbelief of the timing, my counterpart clearly had a quick rush of boyish excitement run through him.

Though he merely entered to inquire about the whereabouts of our grad student, he then proceeded to tell us about the pronunciation of Polish words (as he had just made a note of the true pronunciation of our grad student's [Polish] last name). Before we knew it though, he had cited the constructed word "Ghoti," which was intended to be pronounced as "fish."

'G-h' as in 'enough.'
'O' as in 'women.'
'T-i' as in 'nation.'

When he left, we gave each other the look again and then laughed.

"He's just so wise, so... profound," stated my undergrad before continuing his speculations about how he got that way.

I nodded in agreement.

"Now didn't that make coming here today all worth it?"

They're Not Strangers Anymore

Slightly smiling at either the person or item before us, we would then turn and look at each other simultaneously. It always seemed like something surreal, this act, something so coincidental that it had to be something only the best of friends could do. But we were not like that and it was occurring too often to be merely coincidental.

I actually laugh. Things are funny. Conversations, I can have them. Somehow, they're not strangers anymore. At some point, the ice shield broke. Camaraderie flowed through my veins.

I was regretting this. I gave up everything: the chance to be a be a better athlete, the chance to become acquainted with people from all over the country, the chance to spend time with my dearest friends. I could have written, read, laughed with countless people. I gave up my jobs, my time, in essence, my senior summer, my last summer, my last chance at many things.

But yet I laugh, and I feel warm inside the dark, windowless lab I am confined to. I speak to only a few people, but somehow they offer me more than what hoards of people failed to offer me before. I feel comfortable there.

I sometimes wonder about the many people I didn't meet this year, due to my failure to return to several places. I sometimes wonder about what oddity I might have seen or met on my travels. I always wonder if I would be happier being an average kid, with average brains and an average life.

But yet I laugh, and I laugh with people I would have never imagined I'd have laughed with before, and though it's not many, not many at all, it still warms my soul. I've even met an oddity as well, a very sage-like old man with a tone of benevolence and innocent wonder incredulously unbroken, whose presence I always feel graces me. Then I know that if I had been an average kid, with average brains and an average life, none of this would have ever happened.

The other day my advisor visited and snapped a picture of our little group. I was embarrassed, but I couldn't help but think later that I really wanted a copy of that photo.

"I just want to be happy," I once said to myself, and then I blew out the candles.

I gave up so much. But maybe, just maybe, this is fate.

The Simpsons Movie

Forget Barry Bonds. Here's the real Homer to watch for.

"Spider Pig. Spider Pig. Does whatever a Spider Pig does."

(Sorry for the delay, but friends always come first.)

So if you haven't already seen it, I highly recommend you get down to the movie theater quick and do so. Especially for Simpsons fans (though I'm sure you've all seen it by now), this isn't something you're going to want to miss.

Just imagine a typical Simpsons episode. Irrelevant start, Homer screwing up, dooming the town, and so on. Now, take that and blow it up to epic proportions, truly worthy of the movie screen! Sure, it's your same basic Simpsons, making pop culture references and classic trademark jokes here and there, but longer obviously and with a little bit more oomph. However, our favorite family hasn't gotten starstruck though. It's the Simpsons, bigger and better than ever before, but at the core it's still just The Simpsons, the way we've always loved them.

The script was highly clever, and the show managed to maintain its integrity and keep true to its trademark humor, free of crude jokes that other similar shows such as Family Guy make frequently. No, The Simpsons Movie upholds its classic, good-natured humor that many people have revered them for... with some surprises and added genius too.

And if you haven't seen it, I'm not going to spoil it for you, but the beginning really does start out with a bang. It's pure genius, and you'll absolutely love it (and the rest of the movie of course).

The animation was really nice too (an obvious upgrade from the usual drawings we're used to seeing on television), and clearly a lot of effort was put in (as you'll later discover if you choose to stay for the credits).

Even if you're not quite a fan of The Simpsons, I still highly recommend that you go see it. It's full of endless humor, so unless you've proclaimed yourself a Simpsons-hater for whatever legitimate reason I really do suggest that you give it a try. There's something to laugh at for everyone, and something for everyone to laugh at as well.

Rating: 5/5

Trailer:


Picture copyright (c) Matt Groening, 20th Century Fox, and whoever else...

Image of the Future (It's Not So Bright)

So I was looking through my school network on Facebook the other day and guess what I find.

Freshmen.

Why freshmen need facebooks, I have no idea. (To keep in touch with people they've never met?) But they're not just any freshmen. Oh, if only it were that simple.

No, they're these "slutty little whores fresh off MySpace"-type freshmen. You know, those middle schoolers who drink and do drugs and lie around half-naked because they really do think it's attractive.

Oh please. If you're going to have a picture of yourself barely dressed and drinking, then don't be doing it alone and in a bathroom of all places.

I wasn't being hypothetical either.

To quote the stage and movie musical Chicago, "Whatever happened to class?"

Seriously...

I don't know what's wrong with this world nowadays. I was never one to think well of drugs, but what happened to those days when drinking was meant to bring camaraderie? Instead, now it's meant to propel an image of oneself as a loose little whore, easy to get drunk and easy to screw, on bloody purpose no less.

You think you're hot? Yes, I'm sure your undeveloped, underage body is real attractive to pedophiles. And people wonder about the news lately...

Sigh... I only hope they'll realize what they're doing because I really can't imagine these kids growing up and living in the real world in the state they're in, maybe even becoming parents and having kids. In fact, sometimes, the reason why I think these kinds of people do these things is so that they'll die before they even have the chance.