Wednesday, September 26, 2007

DEADlines

Yeah, so today was a rather interesting day. I was dead tired as usual due to my now not-so-uncommon habit of napping, but never sleeping, through the night. But I was surprised that I actually found myself awake enough during the night to finish terms for A.P. Biology and A.P. Government.

I mean, sure, I didn't study for the Bio test, but I got the written things done, right?

Luckily (or actually, not so luckily) for me though, I have a huge deadline on Saturday, so I was excused from all my classes so I could write my paper. (I know, I know.) I was originally going to go to Bio and bomb the test, but my advisor persuaded me to ask my teacher if I could take a make-up and he agreed.

So yes, after taking care of the homework and quiz in my Gov class, I was set, and best of all, I got to sit in an air conditioned room on the most humid day ever. But I suppose I can't celebrate yet. I don't even have my Materials and Methods section done yet (which means that I'm definitely not even half way through, plus I wrote the easy stuff first). Also, now I need to somehow find time to make up that test. Oh woe is me.

We won our matches today though 5-2, same as last time, except this time they didn't stack their lineup and my partner and I exacted our revenge. I believe the score was 4-6, 6-0 (yeah, I'm not too sure what happened there), and 7-6 (9-7). Yes, that's right. We went 9-7 into the tie breaker, and we were the deciding match.

Seriously though, it's obvious what they were trying to do. Second Singles, Third Singles, Fourth Singles, and First Doubles for a 4-3 win eh? Well that didn't work too well did it? Assholes.

If only all was well though. I'm more worried about our biggest rivals stacking than anything.

Plus, aside from tennis, the Art Honor Society's got a rat in it's ranks now, and I'm going to have to see what I can do about getting rid of its many pests.

Anyway, back to A.P. Calculus. Hooray for unnecessary trig functions.

Oh, but before I go, let me tell you about this nice little conversation I had at lunch...

"I hate life," said Brown man.

"I hate life too," I replied.

"Let's kill ourselves."

"Yay..."

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Procrastinating, As Usual

Yeah, so despite the fact that I really shouldn't be blogging right now, life's been a bitch and I realized I hadn't updated in a while.

I am so overwhelmed. Or not even overwhelmed, but dead tired. Tennis really sucks the time out of my life and the life out of me. Not to mention that aside from the normal schoolwork (and very inconveniently scheduled exams) that accompanies four A.P. classes, I have an extra paper due at the end of the week, the deadline for which I absolutely cannot miss.

So you'd think that with all this schoolwork and extraneous events that I'd get my fat arse into gear and tackle things one by one.

But alas, here I am, blogging when I should be studying two different A.P. subjects, or at least making an effort to progress on things that are due soon.

Sigh... I suppose it makes sense though that the more work one has, the more he or she will procrastinate. Or at least that's what I decided. Actually, I really don't care at this point.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Good To Be Back

So today was slated to be the absolute worse day ever. Scheduled was a super-hard A.P. Calc test, then an appointment with my grad student at Stony Brook (the transportation for which I failed to follow through with by the way), then an Art Honor Society Meeting back at school (which conflicted slightly with my ISR meeting), and then finally I had to catch the bus to the [really tough] opposing school for tennis. (Plus, after all that, I wouldn't be home until 9 due to a college presentation at the Long Island Mariott in Uniondale).

So did I crash and burn? Surprisingly, no. In fact, even though my math teacher is still a horrible horrible person, the test wasn't as hard and obscure as she made it seem. Also, I did manage to secure transportation to Stony Brook, and my meeting went very well, so I should be well on my way to meeting that competition deadline.

But what was especially thrilling today though was my tennis match. See, lately, I've been playing quite terribly (to put it simply, I've been sucking a lot), and I wasn't able to figure out why. But this past week, I've been able to find out what was wrong.

Firstly, there's the fact that I need quite some time to warm up. The fact that I barely did so (and the fact that there was a horrid wind that day) cost my partner and me our first match of the season. But that's not all.

You see, a few nights ago, as I pondered about a college essay regarding my most meaningful activity, I realized as I considered tennis for a topic that lately I've been playing only for myself. Instead of playing for my partner, instead of playing for the team, I've been pretty selfish, and I've let meaningless things consume my thoughts.

So this time, I wasn't going to let that happen. We won yesterday, but today confirmed it. As we all struggled against our counterparts on the only other undefeated team, in our case, 4-6, splitting sets, 6-4, and going to a tiebreaker in the very last set, 7-6 (7-4), I remembered what it meant to play for the team. I remembered what drove me to undefeated and near-undefeated records when I was younger. I remembered what it meant to take risks, to play without worries, to play for fun. Tennis is fun, and I remembered.

So I played. So we played. Skimming the net, spinning down alleys, fast and hard the balls flew... and it felt wonderful. Slamming them down, hearing that sound - oh that glorious sound of a super strong smash! - brought nostalgia to my heart. And my heart beat and beat, and my blood pumped and pumped, pumped adrenaline to my head, and my head filled with adrenaline was filled with excitement, with memories, and with hope and the majestic idea of victory at last!

And it was just like old times again, those times when I played, when I really played, and the love and fun I felt back then. And as I turned away victorious, I smiled my long lost smile, my wonderful smile, and there was only one thought in my head.

It's good to be back.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Without Direction

"Me, My Friends, and A Lot of People I've Never Met."

Pretty interesting, if I do say so myself.

Actually, it's pretty accurate too.

Video copyright (c) David Gillette.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Ultimate Conclusion

Take up the Smart Man's burden --

"Sometimes I wonder if life would be easier if I were stupid," said Fat Man.

"Yeah, I definitely wonder that too," I replied. "But I feel like this is our burden, for being smart."

"I know, but why must there be a burden for having brains?" he retorted. "I mean, shouldn't stupid people have the burden? All they do is play sports, party, have fun, etc."

"Well, it's not fair that things come easily to us and not to others. So to make up for that, we have to aim for things that are hard to obtain."

Fat Man paused for a moment, then replied.

"I hate life."

Alas, the ultimate conclusion.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

College Trip 2

Okay, so I'm back from my second trip to New England, which was pretty nice, though my expectations were exceeded and crushed many times along the way...

FERRY: Well, not a college (to my knowledge), but a leg of the trip nonetheless. I took the Ferry to Bridgeport, Connecticut to continue my trip from there. I ended up leaving the house too late though and by the time I got to Port Jefferson the 9:00 one (9:30 for the day due to some apparent problems) was already full. So I ended up having to wait until 10:30 to finally depart, and by this point, my mind was once again split over the idea of relaxing and the fact that I might not make the information session at 2 for Brown. Well, we got to Bridgeport around 11:45, and for your knowledge it takes a little over 2 hours to get to Providence.

BROWN: But hooray, we actually made it (well, just barely anyway). Actually, I think that if the GPS didn't take us to the wrong location, we might have made it there a bit earlier, but we made it nonetheless (maybe a minute or two late to be precise), and I was glad. An hour later, we went on a tour, and let me just say that it was very, very nice. Our tour guide was entertaining in an natural/unintentional sort of way too, so it was pretty fun. It definitely moved up on my list of most desired colleges, and this is definitely one college that met and exceeded my expectations.

BOSTON: Again, I'm not talking about colleges, but going to Boston gave me a chance to meet up with my cousin who I haven't seen in a couple of months (which is actually pretty good considering how not often we see each other). We had dinner at Uno's, but after the appetizer and some (what better have been) authentic New England Clam Chowder, I was full before the main course came.

TUFTS: So anyway, I visited Tufts the next morning, but I realized in the information session that it wasn't really what I was looking for so I skipped out on the tour. The campus and everyone on it seem pretty nice though, so if you're into International Relations I highly suggest you take a look at it.

BU: Well, next I went to Boston University, which met my expectations... period. In other words, it's got the opportunity, people, and convenience, but I'm not too sure how much I'd like having the city as my immediate campus. But I suppose that if I really had to (and chances are, I won't because my parents aren't too keen on paying for anything other than a SUNY or an Ivy), I could deal.

Boston itself was a bit disappointing though (not quite what I imagined as a quaint little "College Town"). The streets suck (navigating was hard enough with the GPS) and there seems to be construction everywhere so I'm not too sure how I feel about it. Oh, and after coming back home to New York, I can't help but say this (sorry, Bostonians, but...):

You call that a city? New York kicks Boston's butt any day.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Chance of Rain

Yeah, so Wednesday the 19th was supposed to be a really simple, easy day. It would be the day that I finished my "legitimate" classes after 10:30, and I was supposed to have only practice after school.

So since I desperately need to meet with my grad student to discuss my project, I scheduled a meeting with her during school that day. I said the earliest I could be there was 11, and that I had to leave by 2, though I could stay a little longer if I had to.

But no, apparently, my life's not allowed to work out so perfectly. See, it rained yesterday, the day of one of my tennis matches, so guess what? It got rescheduled for the next available date, which is - you guessed it! - Wednesday the 19th. Not only that, but it's away at the opposing school too, so there's absolutely no room for tardiness (and I'm wondering if getting back at 2:30 is already cutting it too close).

Oh, but that's not all! I get a confirmation via e-mail saying that our little meeting is now set in stone as long as nothing comes up. Now, this could be a good and bad thing, because I really did need to meet with her, though now I was locked in a very scripted schedule. However, the next real problem is that I got another e-mail, this time from the intern director at the lab I originally worked at, and she's telling me that there's a mandatory safety meeting all the interns need to attend. Oh, and you bet it's on Wednesday the 19th! Because what other date could possibly be better than that?

Yes, so I checked the weather, and there's a very, very slim chance of rain. I can handle the meeting, that's no problem, but what consequences lie ahead for choosing a moment of glory over a somewhat long-term commitment I have no idea. Of course, the decision I'm making isn't the selfish one as I am doing it because we actually have a shot of winning League Champs this year and I know the team depends on me. However, I can't help but wonder how this will impact my future at the lab, and as of this moment I'm rather hesitant to find out.

Ha... and I'm already missing the mandatory intern meeting on Friday. Oh, woe is me.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Year Six

Sometimes, I think the skies know when to rain and when to shine. It may have been sunny that day, but the sky turned black in time. Today, it was an overcast day, raining as if the clouds had absorbed our million tears, thundering softly as if they had absorbed all of our grief.

Let us always remember.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Color of Nostalgia

Dazed I sat, the reds and pinks of the intricately decorated catering place/restaurant reflecting profoundly into my eyes. The gold, gilded borders gleamed dimly around the room, along the walls, and on the chairs. I sat with my elbows up on the table, my hands around my own neck, propping up my head. My feet were pounding slightly. It was the first day of the semester at work and we had to dress nicely, but I had already wore heels the night before.

Work was fun. There was nothing to do since it was the first day so I was remembering. Remembering, remembering, how we had synced DSs and raced each other in Mario Kart. Remembering, remembering, as I sat in the same room at the same table I sat at last fall. Remembering, remembering, I remembered how he sat across from me only a year before.

I grimaced slightly as my insides curled upon themselves. My mind slipped too far back. It had been a while since I thought of him.

That dark hair, that soft voice, I envisioned him sitting across from me once more, and it was hard to believe that he was gone, though I expected no less. College had taken him away, although ironically he is now physically closer to me than before.

Remembering, remembering, I remembered his solid stare, the way he would look into my eyes to speak, and the voice he used to speak would be ever so soft, but not meek. Remembering, remembering, I remembered his smile, a quick, little grin that formed when he chuckled slightly after the smallest things. Remembering, remembering, I remembered the manager's son, who would call for him every week, and the way they both smiled when he played games with the child and teased him.

I could feel my heart beating with my hands. I removed them from my neck though as the food arrived. The different aromas replaced the thoughts in the air, and I welcomed them.

He was a player, I remember that too, although finding out didn't hurt me since I believe he was a naturally kind and likeable person. I don't believe that all that kindness he showed me was an act, but because of that I can't say that he did all those things especially for me. Not that it matters anymore though, since I don't care.

I don't like him, although I can't honestly say that I never loved him before.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Preliminary Phases

Okay, so I was going to give it some time before I actually did anything about it, but my brother suggested something small that won't initiate a rebellion unless it comes down to that option.

So I'm going to write a letter and get to the bottom of this. I want to know who is behind these pointless policies, and have them clarify in writing what their disciplinary steps are. If their intentions really are as negative as they seem, action will be taken, I promise you that.

And if they don't respond? Well, let's just say they'll be getting a lot of bulk mail from the students in a month or so.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

The Last First Day

So the time is now approximately 5:04 PM. I've been awake for about... 27 1/2 hours now.

Despite this, I hardly think this is the reason as to why I've been so pissed all day. Sure I stayed up all night the day before school started to write a research paper (or as far as I could get anyway), but I was perfectly perky when I got to the Bluff for Senior Sunrise. Even when I got into school, I was happy as ever (or maybe I had already passed my breaking point).

Next thing I know though, during first period, I find out that I have a lunatic for a math teacher and that I no longer attend a school, but a jail instead, where taking out a cellphone or MP3 player means confiscation and then suspension. Plus, being late a couple of minutes suddenly translates to a couple of hours of community service. Pardon my language, but as a friend once recited on stage, "What the fuck is this shit?"

Seriously, I have never felt more confined in my life. What kind of shit school has this become? Cellphones and MP3 players were never a problem, and most kids have the sense and/or respect to put them away in class. Why do they find the need to literally yank phones out of students' hands? (Is short, wittle Knottie feeling all mighty and powerful now?) And what's with this tardiness policy? Sorry, I was throwing up guts and blood, I'll accept my detention now? Not even. Sorry, for once in my life, I did what any human being can do and overslept, can I polish the windows to our pathetic little trophy case after school? Fuck no.

It doesn't help that the lunchroom is now an animal house (yes, it's worse than before), and that they wouldn't let me buy just a salad. No, I had to buy a pizza or meatball hero in order to get a salad on the side. So much for healthy eating. Hope they're happy. I just drank a Snapple for lunch. Plus, the schedules are beyond messed up, and they were taking down names of kids who were not aware of their special scheduling circumstances ON THE FIRST GODDAMN DAY. I mean, would you give the kids a freaking chance?

Something has got to be done about this. This is my last year, my senior year, and if someone is going to bring hell upon me, then I'm more than willing to fight fire with flame.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

College Trip

So I went up to New England for the weekend to visit a few colleges, which was a very interesting experience. Since I'm consciously procrastinating on my work for Intel though (which, by the way, is due in a few days), I'm going to recap everything since Friday (so prepare yourself).

Friday was the last day, so my grad student took my undergrad and me to a place called Hoshi. It sells sushi, but for once I decided to be a little less boring and seized the opportunity to order Una-don (eel on rice), which probably sounds pretty gross, but to be honest it was rather delicious (minus all the decorative crap on the side).

I wasn't expecting to separate directly after lunch though, so I had to leave their Thank You gifts (a box of Godiva Summer Collection Truffles and a Simon gift card for her, and a Starbucks gift card for him) on my grad student's shelf. I left them out of direct view and her desk is in a password-protected office, so hopefully they won't disappear before they see them. Haha...

Anyway, I left directly from Stony Brook to pick up my friend in Whitestone, and then we set off for Maine. It pretty much took the rest of the day, and we finally got there at 11:30 at night, which means, much to my dismay, that my Maine lobster dinner was substituted by a BigMac.

BOWDOIN: Saturday morning we visited Bowdoin College though, which was unexpectedly nice. The tour was helpful, and the guide was actually very cool. As an added plus, my friend had a friend who was a student there, so he was able to show us around too. Anyway, in case you're interested, the campus is cozy (which means that it's small, but I like that), and the people are really nice. Also, even though I didn't try it, it's food is ranked #1 in the country, which, in my opinion, is awesome. Haha... but even the food outside is really good. My friend's friend took us to a place nearby, and the ham panini I had was one of the most delicious things I had ever tasted. So even though I didn't get to try some famous Maine lobster, I was very satisfied with this leg of the trip.

DARTMOUTH: So around 2 PM, we bid farewell to my friend's friend and left for New Hampshire. We got there in excellent time (around 5 PM), and took a look around Dartmouth College. Let's just say it was nice, but not quite my style (though my friend was ecstatic). After walking around for a couple of hours though, we were famished, and decided to leave.

After checking into the hotel, we went to a place called "Three Tomatoes" to eat. I had Calamari in White Sauce over Penne, which was delicious, though the service was a bit slow. When we were done, we checked back in the hotel and went for a swim in the pool, though we got kicked out at 10:30. An hour or so later, this was followed by my friend's bright idea of a "Cookie Run," which was stupid enough, not to mention she went on a recording spree with a camera even after the "mission" was accomplished. Figures that the next morning, I'd literally have to kick her out of bed so we wouldn't be late.

WESLEYAN: Anyway, after going through the ordeal of finally getting her out of bed, we ate breakfast and then left for Connecticut to go visit Wesleyan University. We went on the 1:00 tour, which successfully managed to make me want to run away... BADLY. In fact, I don't remember the last time I was so weirded out. The campus was rather ugly, the kids were weird, and it seemed like everything really sucks there. The tour especially turned me off from the start since neither of the guides were science majors (they gave us the choice of going with the person who was majoring in the subject we were interested in), and even the people I was with made me think, "Oh my god, this college interests these sorts of people?" Anyway, I ended up just losing interest in the tour, and my friend and I were staying merely to be polite. When it was over, we bolted to the car and sped off campus.

So after eating lunch at a Ruby Tuesdays (I had their mini-burgers, which was good but made me feel guilty... haha), we departed back home for good old New York. I dropped my friend off around 5:45 PM, and finally went home.

So all in all, I suppose it was a good trip. Despite the fact that I was more disappointed than pleased and I ate so much more than I would have just staying home, I had fun with my friend and it made me realize which colleges NOT to apply to, which in a sense, means that I was successful in my travels... I guess.