Imitation of a Woman

I sat there on the bench in a black blouse and black corduroy blazer, black tights under a magenta skirt. My hair was slightly wavy, and a string of pearls sat around my neck.

I was tired. It was a long day. My science research peers and I arrived at school at 6:45 AM, left school around 7 AM, and came back at 3:30 PM. No one was there when we arrived and everyone was gone by the time we got back. Where did we go? We missed school to compete in a science and engineering competition. Over the course of the day, we had to present our research to two or three judges who would then evaluate our research for its worth. Now that's some pretty grown-up stuff, don't ya think?

But it was around 5:30 when this thought occurred to me and I sat there at school weary from Drivers Ed. Everyone seems to know how to drive but me. It finishes at 5:15, but the late bus comes at 5:45. As I sat, people came in and out. They wandered in confusedly, and while some made their way to the gymnasium where the boy's basketball game was taking place, others asked the security guard where the voting booths were.

And there I sat, dressed like an adult, doing things an adult does, thinking with the countenance of an adult. Yet shamefully I don't know how to drive and I'm still too young to vote. And in the end, I wonder if I simply do not belong, if I am an anomaly in time, space, and humankind. The old people stared as they walked, and the middle-aged people stared as they walked, and the children stared as they walked. And this was because despite my appearance, despite all I have done, all the work that even far surpasses many of their imaginations, to all of them I was clearly not an adult, but rather a young calf in women's clothing.

Diverting my eyes to an inscription engraved in a little granite monument in the lobby, I read the last line over and over.

Remember where you came from and where you are going.

But what if I feel stuck in time?